I was born and raised in the middle of Nebraska and this is where I continue to stay. I never had any intentions of staying within 30 miles of my hometown but life had other plans for me. Plans that may involve kidnapping charges if I take my son across the state lines without his dads consent, so here I stay. Since I’ve never lived anywhere else I can only image what the world has to offer someone. Of course I have traveled to a few other states and have even flown in an airplane so I’m not completely naive as one would think a bumpkin from the middle of nowhere would be. For all the reason I seem to loathe this state of nothing but corn, cows and the overly conservative views, I have just as many for staying. So I’ve decided to enlighten you to what some of them might be and they are in no particular order. This is chapter 1 as to why I’ve stayed.
This is one of the few states that actually has all four seasons. They may happen all in the same day and sometimes the fall and spring seasons are shorten to just a few weeks but they are indeed there. Spring brings all the great things like blooming trees, flowers growing and the ungodly high amounts of pollen in the air. Anyone that has allergies and even those you don’t are unable to breath properly until the next freeze. Along with not being able to breath you also can be graced with nice red itchy eyes and/or skin and the ability to sneeze more times than you thought humanly possible. I’m pretty sure the state of Nebraska keeps Kleenex and all manufactures of allergy medications in business for the months of April-November. The lovely season of Summer can follow just a few weeks or months after Springs has begun and there normally is no warning. It can be a nice Spring day and then the next it can be 100 degrees of full blown Summer. Another great thing about Spring is that it can also snow/blizzard without much warning and then go right back into Spring or Summer, depending on what Mother Nature has planned.
Once we all survive the Spring season we get the joys and pleasures of Summer. This is also know as Satan’s Asshole around the month of July. Temperatures can break the 100 degree mark and then add around 80-90% humidity on top of that, you start to ponder why you would ever leave any place offering free AC. You take a shower and then the moment you notice that you have been drying off for over 20 minutes, you realize that you have just been sweating the whole time, shower sweating. Most clothing is no longer worn for fashion at this point, it is worn because it is breathable and won’t show any weird
sweat marks at 9 am. The sun comes up early and stays out until late which is one of my favorite things, until I had the joys of putting a child to bed that won’t fall asleep until the sun is down. That is also the moment you discover why black out curtains exist, so bedtime can be moved up to 6 pm on the nights you are really desperate for sleep. What really surprises me is how many people still get a sunburn, year after year. We have discovered that the sun does indeed cause skin cancer and it is easily prevented with sunscreen but it never seems to sink in. Some people just think they are immune the torture that the giant burning ball in the sky is capable of, they are the ones that look like lobsters and then project off parts of their skin everywhere they go for weeks. With summer brings the fun of BBQ’s, outside parties, going to the lake, the pool and talking about how hot it is. The heat is always a topic of discussion along with the lack of rain. I never knew prior to becoming an adult how much I would have to talk about the weather. I just thought we would all watch the same news, decide if a coat is needed and continue along our way, but boy I was wrong.
After being scorched and over all worn out from being hot and pissy all the time, the best season ever, also known as Fall will eventually arrive. This one is my favorite by far because it means I can start to hibernate. It starts to cool down, so sweatshirts are the main attire (this also means not always having to wear a bra). The heaters are not quite on yet, so laying around with a blanket or sleeping with the windows barely cracked is the perfect sleeping weather. The sky are normally overcast and may even spit some moisture (not quite rain nor snow). Hot chocolate replaces the gallons of Iced Tea I consume the previous months. You can cook hearty meals and bake desserts without overheating your house or yourself for that fact. All the colors change from greens and bright things to the oranges and yellows that I think are more spectacular. It’s also the morbid time of the
year when things die, move on or go into hiding until they reappear next April. Then the great holiday of Halloween arrives full of gusto. This one is my favorites because there is just something magic in the air, everyone dressing up and being in the neighborhood, especially watching the little kids get so
exited about it all. Then there is Thanksgiving and stretchy pants as far as the eye can see. This one can be spent stuck inside with your family in a house that is 100 degrees or it can be 100 degrees outside, either way you dress in layers.
The last season and probably the most hated by everyone is the dreaded winter. I personally don’t hate this season but at times I wished it would only be a month long instead of three. I love the days when we all get snowed in, baking cookies, watch movies and use all the internet we can handle. I also like getting in my car and driving around in the snow and ice, the whole time fearing that I’ll get stuck and have to have someone in a big truck come rescue my ass. Wearing a cute stocking cap and gloves with mustaches on them becomes part of my daily fashion statement. Walking into any place and stomping boots off and overtaking all the coat racks with layers of clothing becomes an unspoken ritual. Then there is good old Christmas that is spend with the family, opening presents, drinking whiskey and bickering over trivial things. We have always gone to my grandmas for this holiday and I can’t even fathom the day the location has to be moved because of the unspeakable. Kids are out of school, being lazy and playing with the newest electronics, soaking up their youth with complete innocence. I think I was more heartbroken when my son proclaimed that Santa was not real than what he was. There is also something magically about New Years Eve, saying goodbye to the past year and hello to the new one. The first kiss of year, the first hangover celebrating with those you love to be around and always the endless possibility that the new year will be YOUR YEAR. Eventually the snow starts to melt and the sun starts to warm the earth and us back up. Just as we are crawling out of winter slumber and we are sick and tired of being cold all the damn time, we remember that 100 degree weather isn’t that far away.