May the Bridges I Burn Light the Way

Relationships are a complicated little web that we all weave and relationships with the opposite sex are the trickiest ones, too. There is basically four categories of ex-relationships that they all fall into, when things don’t exactly work out.  Luckily broken hearts are not fatal and can be cured with just a little bit of time.

The first category is called “The Regrets” you have the ones that you loved and now you hate, that or they hate you, this can go either way.  These range from the boyfriend (or girlfriend) that you first fell in love with and then they ended up being the first ones to break your heart.  First loves never work51-Sad-Breakup-Quotes-That-Make-You-Cry out because they are normally hormonal lust filled relationships that have no real future, even though at the age of 16, you think it will last forever.  Not all love/hate relationships are first loves, either.  I have had some that came later in life and due to one of us screwing up beyond repair,we still have not spoken.  No words could even begin to repair the damage of a dagger straight into the heart.   I don’t think of these people very often but when I do, I feel the regret, hence the name.  The good times were good but when things when south it went down like a plane out of the sky.  Normally a big fight is how the relationships come to an end, it hardly ever ends in a peacefully conversation.

The next category that an ex can fall into is the “We Are Just Friends” category.  It’s the ones that never work out romantically,but allow you to stay friendout-friendzone-stop-feelings, staying in each others lives and continue to share mutual friends and memories that you have.  These can be some of the weirdest and coolest relationships one can have with another person.    I have a few of these and we walk the tightrope of just friends and dating but oddly enough, crossing the invisible line that was previously established, is normally only crossed after a  few too many beers.  Going on what would be considered a date is just going to get food.  Hanging out, which normally meant cuddling and flirting now means watching a movie or walking around a mall for something that you actually need.  Family functions are sometimes attended after knowing the menu and if there is nothing else better to do.  When this happens there are normally questions asked by some and the others are just used to see the other person around, so they understand the situation.  You still love and care for each other but not in a warm heart filled fuzzy kind of way.
The third category is the “Area of Gray” category.  This one is probably the most tricky out of all of them.  This one can start out as the first category but though time and rebuilding the lost relationship, you no longer hate each other.  The other option is for this to be from the “just friends” category and also through time or other factors the friendship is no more.  This relationship can also be an awkward, in the sense that when you see each other, you don’t really have a lot to say and is more shuffling of feet until it is time to leave.  Also any topics except small talk are off of the table.  These are the hardest relationships for me to maintainimages because if I have history with someone, being reduced to small talk is tough. So my technique is to crack jokes and see if the person that I once loved, is still there and if any spark is left. Sometimes I feel like it is and then hanging out again or additional conversations have a way of confirming why we are not currently dating.   These type of relationships I find my self revisiting whenever I see them.  I want to know it’s over for sure I want to make sure I didn’t throw it away.  I find myself wanted to push them into another category even though it’s not where they belong.

The fourth category is the “I Would Date Again” category.  There is always that one person that got away, the one that you were going to love forever.   You are hoping that they realize you were such a catch, that you are still alive and are out ring shopping.  This person is normally not your current boyfriend (girlfriend) because they are the ones that left even though you were still in love with them.  Also this is generally enddownloaded with the “Its not you, it’s me” talk that we all loath. I also like to creep on them with any social networks and drive-by their house every now and again.  Hoping they are still single and if not that their current relationship involves someone uglier than me.The jealousy emotion and crazy person mind-set is typically strong when this one ends, also.  Also time and healing makes the feelings decrease, if not entirely go away.

Everyone has relationships with another person, same-sex or opposite.  This is natural and can not be avoided. There are numerous way to deal with the heart-break, you just have to find a way that works for you.  Just remember not all bridges you cross have to be set on fire, the one that got away might just end up being that….the one.

 

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